Why, oh why, do I procrastinate on the most important things, things like confession?
It’s not like I don’t know better. I once took my spiritual director’s advice and went through a stretch of going to confession once a month. I remember how, though life wasn’t any easier, it was more intentional in many ways.
My last visit to confession, though, began like this: “Father, it’s been–no, wait! Really?!? SEVEN MONTHS? Since my last confession.”
Seven months was far too long for me to wait. No, I hadn’t killed anyone. (Yet.) But even so, I could feel the weight the weight of all those small sins and the addition of all those small steps away from God’s grace. I was carrying a heavy load that I didn’t even notice until it was gone.
My penance that day was as ironic as it was suitable. Father gave it to me with a smile.
“Your penance is to teach RCIA tonight.”
“Awww, come on, Father! I was already going to teach RCIA tonight!”
“And the topic will be…confession.”
We both laughed. I’m still laughing.
I suspect that this sort of thing happens so much more easily when you have an ongoing relationship with your confessor, when he knows you individually.
I’ve noticed something as a catechist in my parish and a Catholic adult.
Kids have a far better feel for confession that we do. They believe me when I share my encouragement that they go to confession often and soon. You only need to go to one youth event and see the lines of teens to see evidence.
So why don’t the adults tend to act on this knowledge with the trust that the youth do?
In my own life, it comes down to a combination of laziness and pride. I have to make the time to go. I have to arrange my schedule and figure out how and when and where. Then I have to humble myself enough to accept that the priest has (a) heard worse than what I’m bringing, no matter how bad I think I’m dealing and (b) receives his own set of graces to forget and act as Jesus.
When’s the last time you were at confession? When’s the last time you went to meet Jesus with the spirit of humility and gave him the burden of your sins?
Go. Soon. Lent is coming, and you’ll appreciate the Resurrection so much more deeply with a freshly cleaned soul!
This “Finding Faith in Everyday Life” column originally appeared in The Catholic Times.
Good intentions never get me there. It just winds up on a back burner or I forget. I have to put it on my to do list and actually put it on my calendar for me to actually get to confession. If I do though, it is much easier to make sure i go regularly. One of my New Baby Resolutions has been to go once a month. I happily snuck one in before my daughter was born January 8th, but I am due for February – thanks for the reminder!
Yeah, good intentions never get ME there either! Glad I helped you…now, make sure you go! 🙂
You know, it’s not just laziness and pride. Don’t you think Saturday afternoon is about the world’s worst time for busy famiies? After a day of chores, grocery shopping and other Saturday activities, 430 in the afternoon is exactly the time when one is too tired to make yet another trip in the car, let alone get into a prayerful and repentant mood. I just wish there were one other day or evening per week that churchs regularly scheduled confessions, don’t you?
Actually, our parish does have it at other times, though I always/usually make an appointment through the day.
I do think making the sacrament more widely and easily available IS something that pastors should do. And as I type that, I can’t help but think of how very much our pastor does, etc. For many years, he had confession offered more times through the week, and…no takers. Or not many takers. Frustrating all around, now that you mention it.
I’m relieved to hear that other moms struggle with the Saturday afternoon timing of confession. I’ve decided to take the extreme measure (for me) to call the church office to schedule confession with a priest on a weekday morning. I’ve put it off too long. Thanks for the nudge!
You know, Jennifer, when I stop to think about it, I’ve only been to Saturday afternoon confession once in 13 years of being Catholic. And that was sort of an accident–we just happened to be there early (which is very UNLIKE us). I’ve never made it on purpose. There’s no getting there that early and not staying (we live too far out), and it’s a hard stay for young kids. But…hmm.