Dear Whoever Created the Time Change and Those in Favor of Keeping it Going,

Do you have kids? Do you want to get up an hour early with mine? Could you please give me back that hour in the morning when I used to refresh myself with such activities as blogging and recreational reading and general puttering?

Do you recommend I give my toddler Benedryl before bed or when she wakes at the obscenely early hour in the morning? I have heard this is an optimal way to get her back to sleep and gain this theoretical hour for myself.

Kind regards and sharp daggers,

Dear Sarah,

You’re crazy. Of course we don’t have kids! Do you think we’d be in favor of the time change or care about productivity if we did? We would have more important things to do!

We hear you’re Catholic. Maybe one of your saints can help you. If you have had such a negative experience with our fiddling with an hour, just what do you think our advice on medicating your child would be like?

Leave us alone,
The People in Charge of the Time Change

Tags: Humor