A Mary Moment Monday post

I sit in my kitchen, the chill of the morning offsetting the heat of the baby against me. A cup of coffee sits steaming on the table. As I pray in the silence, I look down and see his face.

He is truly a miracle: a child prayed for, a gift given, a blessing both unexpected and sorely needed. He amazes me, though I am not (nor will ever be) a Baby Person. In fact, he is at the exact age I like least, where I feel uncomfortable and inadequate and unable to do much beyond feed, change, soothe, repeat. Even so, I can’t help but feel my heart expand and my self change a bit with this newest child.

I feel so close to Mary this year. My baby is so new, so small (and yet so big so fast!), and so is hers. Thousands of years separate us, but they are as nothing on this day of the Christmas season.

I am this baby’s entire world, in one sense. Though he has many people who love him and cherish his existence, there’s a responsibility in this motherhood gig that I feel so intensely in these early months. He depends on me for nourishment and I am the one who often hands him off to others, expanding his world to include big sisters, Daddy, and other family members and friends.

Here, in the midst of the Christmas season, I find myself looking to Mary and nodding. She is, amazingly, a real woman to me in this instant. She surely sat in the early morning silence, holding an infant boy close to her chest, nursing and nuzzling Him. And she certainly looks at us, even now when we’re far past our baby years, with the same tender love, no matter how many times we’re up in the middle of the night, no matter how often we erupt into tantrums, no matter anything.

She sees us, her children, and when we find ourselves most distraught, alone, or in need, she pulls us close. Perhaps, like Jesus, we can find ourselves comforted and rocked to sleep to the sound of her heartbeat.

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In other places:

I usually request guest posters from Twitter and Facebook, but thought I’d put a plug in here as well: if you’d like to be considered for a guest post before Lent, send me your ideas. I usually do guest posts on Tuesdays or Thursdays (though it varies), and I’m open to just about anything, though I am partial to personal reflections and essays. Contact me if you’re interested (my email’s in the sidebar, or you can use any of the social media avenues).