You were held first by Mother Mary, and your first gaze was upon the Father’s face. You are among the heavenly host, though in your brief stay here on earth – nine months – you made an impact and changed more lives than many who live full years.
We believe you are alive, though we do not have the pleasure of seeing you run and jump, dance and laugh, hug and cry. We sometimes ask God why, though we can’t comprehend His answer. We sometimes find ourselves missing you, you who never spent time in our arms.
Ever year, on this day – and on many others – we remember you. We know you are watching us – there are too many miracles to explain away otherwise – and we try to watch back. We try to stay vigilant, faithful, hopeful. We can’t wait to meet you someday, to finally be able to kiss you and hug you and squeeze you.
You are the light of the smallest star, the candle that burns brightly from afar, the second of three small white caskets. We can never forget you, nor do we want to.
You changed our lives, and you made us aware of God’s greatest miracle. You did not live here with us, on earth, suffering as we do and struggling through the daily routine of living. And yet you are a miracle, dear Lucas, for the hearts you have softened, for the people you have touched.
Today, we remember you. We will go to Mass, and offer our banquet feast for the broken and the lonely, the hungry and the homebound, the prisoner and the suffering. Today, dear Lucas, we will thank God for the miracle of you in our lives, though that confounds the world and seems contradictory. Today, we remember you, and we pray for those who grieve you and the others who deny themselves the miracle of an existence like yours.
What a beautiful tribute to your baby. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Your words came straight from my heart.
Elena, it is not my loss at all. Lucas is actually my nephew, and I married into the amazing family that was his first after he had been in heaven for quite a while.
Susan, it is my joy to be able to share in the miracle that is your life and your example. Love you!
Thank you for this post, Sarah. Yes, the Lord’s miracles explain to us so many mysteries, and are mysteries in themselves.
Mystery illuminates mystery.
Rest eternal grant unto Lucas, O Lord, and may light perpetual shine upon him.
Amen.
A mother
I am glad this post spoke to you, Anon, and thank YOU for your words of wisdom.
I’m so sorry for the loss.
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine: et lux perpetua luceat eis.—
(Ps. 64. 2.3)
At first, I was sorry for the loss too. Now, I’m thankful that we have had the blessings in our life, including Lucas, that have made us stronger, more compassionate, and closer to God. I think, now, that it was not a loss at all. It was more like an advance payment.