I know I said blogging would be light, but Lisa’s guest post yesterday about her difficulty with the Prayer of Abandonment got me thinking: how often do I struggle with the very same thing, whether with that prayer or with many others.

Answer: all! the! time!

But as I thought about what she shared, I started to wonder why this is such an ongoing challenge for me. I came up with three reasons (though I’m sure there are more).

1. Humility doesn’t come naturally for me.

Oh, I’m better than I used to be. But…that only means that I see how very far I have to go.

My first reaction, though, isn’t the humble response. It isn’t yet ingrained, habitual, part of how I am.

But you know, that’s all the more reason to embrace prayer, all the more reason to abandon myself to God.

2. Trusting God means acting exactly opposite from how I tend to act.

I want to take care of things myself. I want to be self-sufficient and independent.

Just like my three-year-old, I can DO IT MYSELF, thank you very much. No need for God. No need for help. No need for anything.

Except…except, I DO need help. I DO need God.

Jen Fulwiler at Conversion Diary is discussing trust in God in her usual wonderful way, and she has some great food for thought.

The lesson with this objection, I think, is the same as with #1: I need prayer even more, to help me be better at trusting God.

3. I doubt, I question, and I can’t answer any of them to my satisfaction.

Is it because I’m such an inquiring mind? Is it that I’m a product of how people are nowadays?

It starts with an example of bad things happening to good people and continues through other examples of suffering. I ask questions with no answers.

But I’ve come to wonder, lately, if maybe I’m just not hearing the answers. Maybe the answers are there and I’m not listening.

Maybe I’m an example of denial: No, God can’t mean THAT!

I’m not sure. Once again, though, this challenge reminds me that I need prayer even more, that my personal requirement for time with God is even higher due to these hurdles.

Praying well comes, I’m sure, with practice. So, even with my objections, I have to keep trying. I’m pretty sure few things are more important.

How about you? Do you struggle with the Prayer of Abandonment or even with trust in God?