They’re the gray that turns suddenly black, the final straw when the burden’s heavy, the storm cloud that’s been hovering and finally lets loose. They’re the feeling that nothing can turn out right if we’re doing it, the sinking feeling that everyone’s faith in us is misplaced, the certainty that we are on a path to crashing and burning.
We all get them, but that doesn’t make me feel any better when I’m in the midst of a Low Self-Esteem Day (or, as the case may be, a week of them). Maybe it’s this dreary winter cold (wind chill of 20 below today!), or maybe it’s a signal that I need to delegate and share responsibilities more. The only salve I found last week, when I was muddling along, was an hour of Adoration. Sitting there, in the company of the Divine Lover, I felt calmed. It didn’t matter what I could or couldn’t do.
The Low Self-Esteem Days remind me that God qualifies the called. I may not be the best person I know for some of the jobs I do (including that all-important maternal role I hold), but I don’t have to be. I have to trust in God and let go so he can lead me where I need to be.
Sarah.. I may not know you in person but that doesn’t make this any less true: You are a beautiful person. You are helpful and kind. You are a true gem to all who know you, I’m sure.
Even from so far away you brighten my days by allowing Christ to shine through all that you do. You love your family and care for them and in that I see Christ. You live your faith and are not afraid to struggle and in that I see Christ. You remember days past while looking hopefully toward the future and in that I see Christ.
You, my friend, have served to show Christ to me. And to many others I’m sure.
Don’t feel so low, friend. You are amazing.