Part of the Mary Moment Monday series

I have been reflecting on marriage a lot lately. In part, these reflections are inspired by the recent and unexpected death of my 38-year-old brother-in-law.

In the last two months, I’ve seen my own marriage in a different light.

It’s not a bad thing for me.  I have witnessed a lot of marital strife and a few divorces.  Taking time for my growing and evolving understanding of marriage is a good thing.

Lately, when I think of my widowed sister-in-law, I see Mary at the foot of the Cross.  Since her suffering is inspiring my introspection, it follows that I should look to Mary in her marriage.

Mary was, after all, a married woman, though too often we seem to forget that. Her marriage is so important that Joseph has a feast day just for his role as her husband (on March 19; read more about it at and Catholic Culture).

Mary was a woman with a devoted husband and father who predeceased her.  She knows, so well, the pain of burying a young husband, the grief of holding a sobbing child, the difficulty of returning to a new and strange version of normal.

What does this mean to me?  How can I learn from someone wracked with pain when I have it all: a happy life and a healthy husband?  Should I feel guilty?

The lesson, for me, is one of being open, of saying Yes.

Yes, God, I am Yours.  Yes, God, so is he.  Yes, God, I know Your will is better than mine (even if I don’t understand it or see the good you can bring from it).

In other news…

  • I had tons of fun on Saturday morning appearing on a Catholic Weekend that must have set some sort of record for longest-time-to-record-a-one-hour-show.  Listen in (if you dare).

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