This week, reflecting on God’s love for me, an email I received a while back from Jennifer kept coming to mind. I’m going to share that this week, because it sums up what I think of this week in the retreat.
When envisioning myself as holding hands with God I was a little girl. I was holding my “daddy’s” hand, walking along the beach. I could only see our forearms and hands, kind of like a movie scene. My hand was small like a 9 year old girl’s hand. As I was holding the big strong hand of my “Daddy” I realized what it means to be a child of God.
Children are trusting and loving, and should be respectful and obedient. As a child of God I need to trust that He knows what is best and has a plan for me. That means giving up my plans if they don’t coincide with His and being open to what He has planned. I need to show Him more how much I love Him, as a little girl shows her daddy — small ways are acceptable. When I was a little girl I remember just spending time with my dad or joining him in things he liked to do. I should be more respectful, He created me and blessed me, He sent His Son to redeem me and bring me closer to Him. What awe that inspires, what reverence should be shown to Him. And finally I should be more obedient. I should not ask why, I should just do. I am a mother, He created my boys and called me to this vocation, I should do all that is motherly without hesitation or scowl on my face. I am a wife, He created my husband and called me to holy matrimony, I should be the wife he wants me to be without looking down upon my husband for his faults. I should love my husband unconditionally and do all wifely duties without complaint.
As with my earthly father I can go and lay my head on his chest and just “be” when the world seems too big and frightening, how much more can I do that with my Heavenly Father. Or I can go to my dad with excitement when all is well and something is really great, how happy would God be if I shared with Him my good times. This vision made me realize I don’t spend enough time with my earthly father and consequently with my Heavenly Father. He wants me to go to Him and just spend time with Him. He wants me to talk with Him, to love Him, to obey Him, to be reverent of Him. He wants me to be His little girl. Being a little girl relieves so much stress and worry. How I long to be a little girl again. And although, in this world, I will still have responsibilities, I can still be a little girl. I can have the characteristics of a little girl trusting, joyful, friendly, without worry, laughing more. I can be my “Daddy’s” little girl. And I think this can help me be a better wife and mother as well.
When Jennifer sent this to me, she said I am the only other person she knows who has referred to God as “Daddy.” I’m not sure where I picked up thinking of God as Daddy…it might have been the last time I went through this online retreat.