I’m sitting in my office, with snot and tears mingling on my chin. You see, in my inbox was an email from a dear friend with a link that I clicked on, and I found myself captivated, moved, inspired, and completely unable to continue with my work. So here I am, in my little haven, sharing it with you.
I’m not a news bug. You must know that by now. I live in a little bubble, carefully constructed, and I’m behind on my blog reading to boot, so the bubble is full of pretty much only what I’ve been reading (Danielle Bean, Dean Koontz, Saint Faustina, chapters from a friend’s book, Mass readings). Maybe you’ve already heard of Eliot. Hearing his story, told by his dad, took me back to a day that I cherish, when Logan entered our lives. And how could I forget Darren, whose anniversary this year was on Easter, and who was born with Trisomy 18?
The small white caskets in my life haunt me, yes. But they have changed me, and they started the process by which I was able to become this amazing and earth-defying creature, a mother. The haunting these precious souls do is in the way they remind me about life, in the way they make the tears into gifts, in the way they lead me always back to my Father to hold me.
Abortion is not the easy answer. Life is not the easy answer. There is no easy answer. But there is joy, and watching Eliot’s dad’s video, I touched a part of the joy, I felt a peace, and I knew that, indeed, it won’t be long for us here, any of us.
Um, these are things pregnant women should NOT be watching. It’s kind of masochistic, don’t you think?
Sorry, M, should have put a warning, I suppose, though I was touched. There are worse things that can happen than Trisomy 18, and sometimes I need a reminder about that. I know people who lived through the experience, but oh, how quickly I forget and worry. Why worry? God can worry. It’s HIS problem, not mine. The suffering is as beautiful as the happiness, isn’t it? And if that doesn’t make sense, well, it doesn’t, not on the surface. (OK, this is starting to look like a posting that got trapped in the comments. Nuff from me on my own post!)
I saw this video recently and you are right, the tears, the snot-fest. I look at my daughters and remember how blessed I truly am.
God doesn’t give us the reasons why because he knows it will break us.
Only in God’s time.