It seems a fitting comparison this year – August and an armpit: hot and sweaty, smelling not-so-fresh, sometimes difficult to deal with.
August signals the end of summer, starting with state fair and then school supply sales. It’s miserably hot and usually pretty dry. Parents are READY for the kids to go back to school and it seems the kids are pretty ready to go back.
I’ve been trying to put my finger on exactly why this August is an armpit. Is it that I completely forgot my new month’s resolution? Is it that I haven’t had time to get that outlet and revitalization that comes from the online Catholic community? Is it the drama that exploded about two weeks ago and then seemed to seep into every area of my life, even though it really only had to do with my “professional” life? Is it the lack of sleep thanks to four – yes, FOUR – new teeth along the top gum of Babycakes’s mouth?
Or could it be my own bad attitude, my own refusal to embrace the present and love what God gives me, as opposed to complaining about what he doesn’t?
Whatever it is, I’m glad to see this month hitting the mid-point and turning toward its end. I’m grateful that I’ve gotten some sleep – more than two hours in a row! – in the last few days, and appreciating that, in my current state of life, I can no longer function on five hours. Well, wait: yes, I can, but I need them to be CONSECUTIVE. Gone are the days when I proclaim “I can sleep when I’m dead!”
That’s just as well.
This month, I’m learning to appreciate that when one thing goes wacky in my world, it impacts everything, from the baby’s sleep to the mommy’s mind frame. I have also proved beyond any doubt that, in my world, morning prayer is NOT an option. Oh, I knew this before, but this month, when it seems that the very floor has gone squishy and I could fall through at any time, it has been my life raft. Through the interrupted nights, I’ve been consciously saying little prayers – not because I’m holy, but because I REALLY need some divine intervention!
You know what? I thinks it’s been helping. Instead of sitting here on yet another busy-run-crazy weekend feeling like my hair’s on fire, I’m pretty calm and collected. That isn’t just because I got some sleep last night, either. I think it’s because I’ve been building up my prayer account, because I’ve been working my prayer muscles and keeping them in shape, because I’ve been putting that trust thing into practice.
