“I feel you accepting of me, with all of my limitations, all of my shortcomings. I am so aware of them all, and yet right there in the midst of my weaknesses, you accept me and love me and ask me to join with you. I feel the pull of your invitation and I feel my love for you growing deeper. Your care and gentle manner are so attractive – how could I turn down your invitation? Yes, I want to go with you. But somewhere inside I feel the voice asking, “What will it cost me?””
I have failed a lot in my life, and this week has been no exception. I have failed in my duties at home and at work, with family and with friends, with people I know well and people who rely on me to do a job well. Despite this, Jesus is calling me closer. I examine myself and see the gap between where I think I should be and where I am. Jesus sees the possibility, he sees the beauty in who I can become if I go to him, he sees the loveliness of where I am. He rocks me, holding me close, comforting me in my distress at failing, and reminds me that what’s important is within my reach. I do not have to be perfect, and neither do you. The kingdom of God is not made up of perfect people. Holiness is not perfection. While I don’t want to be satisfied with where I’m at, I don’t have to waste so much energy on picking the scab, moaning over my inabilities, making excuses to cover my failings. I need only to turn to Jesus for my strength.
