• Wiping your hands off on your pants only to realize:
    a. you had just rinsed out poopy underpants,
    b. you have to leave right away to be on time,
    c. being on time is not more important than washing your hands
  • Being told “LUB YOOOOOOU” will fix everything, even at 2 AM
  • Two hours in a dark room, falling asleep three times yourself while an Unnamed Someone babbles away quietly, feeding your moments of awakeness with frustration
  • Bath time art with bath crayons
  • Your life revolving around trivialities that are very important (i.e. WHERE are the snack bags? WHAT HAPPENED to Scooby blankie? WILL THIS OBJECT COME OUT OF THIS SMALL ORIFICE?)
  • Poopy, drinkie, and blankie in the same sentence
  • Watching the same thing twenty times in a row and being happy about it
  • Bologna for breakfast
  • The things you’ll do for a smile
  • The announcement of the color of your underpants in a public restroom at church at a decibel level about thirty times higher than you’re happy with
  • The things you won’t give in on
  • A puddle of pee in the middle of the room (dog’s not guilty this time)
  • The advancement of language and the birth of sentence structure, through a toddler’s eyes (i.e. “Me carry up baby,” which means, “I will be glad to carry the baby, Mommy, because I am such a good little helper,” and “Share baby blankie up me carry,” which means, “I am so generous that I will share my favorite possessions with the baby if you let me carry said baby by its head,” and “Baby Mommy tummy. Hear baby heartbeat!” which translates, “My mother is pregnant, people! And I get to hear the baby’s heartbeat whenever we go to the fun place with cool toys and stethoscopes!”)
  • The rejoicing you’ll do – even in public – for poopy in the potty (and pee, for that matter)
  • Corn in the hair, spaghetti on the face – a toddler who will eat is a beautiful thing
  • The feel of a small head on your shoulder and the conviction that you would do almost anything to keep it that way