Sometimes, it’s not what you need.
But sometimes it IS.
Sometimes it IS in such a glorious, wonderful, surprising way that you can’t help but sit back and marvel.
In the last ten weeks, I’ve had an infant and summer and a slump.
None of these is a bad thing. In fact, the concoction of them together isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The infant has given me a chance to see how my older kids are Baby People. It’s given me a lease on trying my hand at being a Baby Person myself (much to my surprise). And it’s given me motivation in some other areas.
Summer is a grand time. There’s no school, so there’s a general relaxing of routine and an easing up and a gearing up and fair! The kids are with me, and I get to bask in them and enjoy them and order them around like little minions (or so I’d like to think).
And a slump is just the pause between two high points, the valley between mountains, the soft silence as you take a breath.
I can go back to March, to when Mr New Kid was born, and start a whole list of things I didn’t plan or intend. And yet, looking back, I can see that there are many, many blessings that have come about as a result of these things.
Funny how that works, isn’t it?
Being in a slump (which I hesitate to call depression, because, well, maybe it’s just a bad mood, or lack of sleep, or life, or…) is a challenge unto itself. Facing it this summer has been…interesting.
It’s also made me stop to think about what I’ve done that has helped.
And yet, this was the very time when my prayer time has been most out of sorts. I’ve had to embrace that I’m not going to have an hour or two before everyone gets up. And you know what? That’s been okay. I’ve been praying a decade instead of a full rosary most days, but I’ve been trying to make that decade count by paying attention. I’ve also been using Echo in those odd moments when I’m nursing the baby or trying to get him settled down. Instead of defaulting to podcasts, I’ve been trying to default to prayer in ways that I’ve long advised others (but needed reminding about myself).
Sometimes, I need to Just. Stop. No. More. No more email. No more texts. No more calls. No more anything. In fact, not so long ago I read a book that was completely for fun, one that I didn’t have to review (though I will, because it was fabulous). I also took a few naps. I did some things that aren’t productive and yet that allow my mind to ease out of the stress zone. Things have a way of looking saner when I’m rested. And this is one of those seasons when the work of rest is some of the most important work I have!
Plenty of people say that you can just smile and feel differently. My cynical hat doesn’t come off enough to allow me to actually play this way. I can fake it, but the I know I’m faking it. And that makes me madder.
When I’m in a slump, I need to accept where I am, how I am, who I am. I have to accept that God is there, carrying me, leading me, and loving me.
How about you?
Do you have slumps? How do you deal with them? Or good tips for how to make my coffee work wonders in my life beyond how it already does?
I wish I had a cure for slumps, but I don’t. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I cannot out-wake my kids (I’ve tried). My prayer life has been screwed up for a decade – or maybe I should just say “changed.”
I’m so with you, Sarah! Love this post.
All the ways you wrote about are excellent. I might add praising God for every little and big blessing I your life. If you can find the space the. praise him at the top of your voice with hymns of praise for who he is,
Dearest Sarah, this was a very nuanced and excellent post. I ask you please to be vigilant to the whispers you might sense that you need to see your doctor. You are of course in my morning and evening prayer always.
Thank you for this post! I’m having a slump too though I’m not totally sure why. I just feel a real push to spend more time with God alone without doing something else at the same time. It’s wonderful to have spiritually minded friends who “get it!” Again, thank you for your candor. I will ask Mary to take care of you (which I know she does already).
Thanks, everyone! I appreciate your prayers, support, and encouragement, and I’ll keep you all in my prayers too. 🙂